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"Damnit Sarah, I don't want this either. But if we don't then he's turning and there isn't anything we can do about it."
He turned around and got up. A growler had gotten to close to them. He went over and stabbed it in the head. Others were coming he looked back to Sarah. She was safe for the time being. He ran to the car and grabbed his mp7. It was loaded and Charles switched the safety off and started clearing out the growlers. It wasn't a permanent solution because the gunfire would draw more but Sarah wasn't moving and he needed time. After he was done he walked back over to Sarah.
"I have to do this. I can't let him come back. If you can't take it I understand but this needs to be done. You can go to the Knight if you need to."
His hand touched her face as he leaned down. His voice was cold but his eyes showed a level of care for her that she would have to recognize.
"I can't lose you, and if we don't take care of this I will. Please Sarah, let me do this."
Sarah knelt there, unmoving. Tears streamed down her face. WHY?! God , WHY!? Her mind screamed. This was unfair! He was...her hand reached out and ran a finger down the boys cheek, he looked at her. She heard Charlie, talking to her. The gun shots caused her to flinch.
The boy's eyes were closed and his breaths were shallow. Suffer the little children to come unto me...ran through her mind. Charlie was back and talking. His words seemed far away, but his fingers. She felt his fingers and her head moved as he turned her face to look into his. She swallowed hard, and let him help her off her knees.
She looked down at the small , helpless figure, and shook her head, 'I..I can't...." she looked back at him, her body was trembling, 'please....you're sure?" She was so torn, but she knew he was right. He had been her rock through all this. She saw bodies laying, from his gun, but heard noises in the distance. Time was running out.
She gripped the side of his shirt at it's waist, 'Fast....please...just...no pain, don't" she could hardly get it out through her tears, almost like the words were choking her, 'hurt him." She let go and scrambled to the truck.
She couldn't watch this. She crawled in and slammed the door, her head turned away, almost buried against the back of the seat.
He nodded as she said no pain. He wanted to make this as quick and painless for the child as he could. He knew what he had to do but that didn't mean he had to like doing it. He looked at the boy and brushed the hair our of his eyes. He was glad that his eyes were shut. He didn't need to see what what was about to happen. A single whispered sorry broke the silence as Charles' knife drove through the boys temple and into his brain. It was quick and final and the boy didn't even whimper. He simply stopped breathing. It was all too much for Charles to take though and he looked over to where the boys parents had been.
He ran over there, knife still in hand. Why hadn't they just kept the kid safe for another day. Then Sarah and he could have saved at least the kid. He wouldn't have had to put the kid down and Sarah would be happy. He hit his knees and saw that one of them was not quite gone. It had fallen back and it's leg had broken but it was still growling and crawling towards him. He took his knife and started stabbing it over and over again in the head.
"You had one job. Why didn't you keep him safe. You should have... kept him safe... we could have helped you. Could have... saved him... fed him...anything but this." By the end he was barely stammering. He finally got to his feet and wiped his knife on his pants. He walked back to the Knight and got in. He was silent for a minute and they just sat there. The Knight could take anything the growlers could do to it so driving luckily wasn't necessary just yet.
"Sarah, I'm sorry. I... wanted to save him too... I wanted it to be ok."
Sarah heard the car door open and felt his weight enter the truck, heard the door shutting. She was silent, but the tears wouldn't stop. He spoke, and she did hear him. Without thinking, without a word, she crawled over the center console and into his lap. She curled herself around him, holding on for dear life. Her face against his neck and shoulder, near his ear.
Her whole body was shaking, 'I..know..." she wrapped her arms around him, and just held on. That was the only thing she knew to do. She sobbed against him for a little while, then she went silent. Her mind filled with thoughts. She knew deep down, he was a good man, but he...at times, but it was because he had to be strong. TO do things to keep them safe, to keep her safe. "I hate this....this..place..these..." she swallowed, it was wrong to hate. She sighed and pulled back from him, her hands resting on his cheeks, "I know you did what you had to do....I do, Charlie." She leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. "I just wish to God things would ..." she fell silent. Her eyes stared at his and then she pulled back, "I made that hard for you, I was weak, and I am sorry." she sniffed and wiped her face with her sleeve.
Charles just held her and let her cry his hand ran through her hair as she cried and he just let her deal with it. She was a skilled survivor now but certain things she just couldn't handle and he understood that. He didn't blame her for not being able to do these things. He could barely do them himself sometimes.
"It's ok. I understand... you don't need to feel guilty." He looked straight into her eyes his hand now resting on her cheeck. For some reason the urge to kiss her popped up. Maybe it was out of a desire to make her feel better or maybe it was because they had come so close.
Sarah stared at him, and saw how he was looking at her. She took a breath, and canted her head a bit. What was he thinking? She eased forward, slowly at first, then her head swooped forward and she found his lips with hers. She felt her hands slide from his face and gripped his shoulders. Her body pressed against his, and she clung to him. He was alive, they were alive, in this hell and she needed to feel alive, right now!
She pulled back and her eyes searched his face. This had happened once before, and she thought about that while she sought his reaction. Her eyes played over his face, and then her head bent to him, and she rested her cheek against his. Kissing it gently, "I." what should she say, what was right, wrong?
Hers lips came to his and he fell into it like a teenager. He kissed her deeply, his hands running through her hair. When she pulled away slightly he breathed and then she leaned back in, this time against his check and kissed his cheeck. She started to say something and then stopped. He pulled back and looked into her eyes.
"I care about you so much." He had barely finished speaking when he leaned back in and kissed her again. He had been so nervous about this and now that it was happening he wasn't going to stop unless she wanted to. For all he card they could just stay in this car and kiss for a while. His hand slid over her back, holding her tight against his body.
Sarah was surprised by his words. That softening of him and the look in his eyes when he spoke. He came back to her lips and she entertained them. Her body was held tightly against him. Hands slipping to his chest. For an instant shw felt his heart hammering against her palm. It was srumming away,matching her own. Seconds seemed like much longer.
She pulled back and found the zipper of her coat,yanking it down and shrugging out of it. Her eyes,everything was focused on him. She started to come back in,almost to his lips,when something banged against the window next to her.
Sarah yelped and pulled from the door. A walker's hands were beating,clawing at the window, trying to get to them.
His own jacket joined hers wherever it had been discarded to. he was watching her come back to kiss him again when the bang on the window made him jump. He looked and saw the thing trying to get to them. It was worthless of course. This vehicle was made to survive bullets and worse but it was enough to sour the mood. Damned growlers have to ruin everything, he mused to himself. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before grabbing the keys and firing the ignition.
"What do you think of finding a place to rest for the night? We can get started first thing in the morning. I've certainly had enough of these damned things for today." His hand rested on her leg as he pulled out.
Sarah sat catching her breath. She nodded as he asked about getting out of there. She leaned back against the seat and felt his hand on her leg. Her hand moved and rested on top of it.
She heard the engine , and soon the feel of the truck moving. She did not dare look out of her window, instead she closed her eyes. What ...were they thinking? She sat in thought, mind racing.
He cared about her. Did she feel the same for him? Yes, she cared about him. He was so hard sometimes, but he was always good to her. He put her above himself, and he did the things she could not bring herself to do. Was it just her own need that caused that, and he meerly responded, no. She opened her eyes and glanced over to him, "Are you alright?" her fingers wrapped around his hand and squeezed it. Should she apologize for that....for what almost happened?
The pressure of her hand was comforting. As they drove he kept an eye on the odometer. They ideally wanted to find a place that wasn't too far off of the main route and most importantly one that was no more then ten miles out. On a normal day he would have preferred farther out but they were low on gas and needed to be able to get back to the town and get some more. He had a small amount of gas set aside but they needed that so they could hopefully get a generator up and running. He noticed a auto repair place on their way out and took note. In the morning they might be able to fund a hose there that they could use to siphon tanks.
"I'm fine. Really, got a bit shook up back there but I'm good now."
He took her hand and kissed it. He was struggling to find the words that meant that he didn't see what had happened earlier as a mistake.
Sarah felt him lift her hand and his lips press to it. She smiled at him and then sighed, but did not pull away from him, "I...don't know...I wish I could say numb...but it hurts." She glanced out the window finally, "I just thought...God had given me a little miracle, finding him...alive and then." She took a deep breath and fingered her cross, then shifted a bit, "I...Charlie...what happened...I..don't " what was she supposed to say, "we...are together, but you..don't need to feel like we have to ...be together to...make me happy, or better, or ..." God this was coming out wrong! She sighed and licked her lips, 'It was the wrong place for that, and I am sorry if you felt obligated to because you take care of me."
Charles just looked at her dumbfounded he didn't understand why she thought he had done that out of some desire to comfort her. Did she really not know that he had fallen for her pretty hard. He hadn't ever been in any serious relationships before everything hit the fan. He had always been a love em and leave em sort of guy. With Sarah it was different. For the obvious reason that he couldn't just leave her, but also because he genuinely cared for her.
"Sarah... back there had nothing to do with making you feel better... or safe... or anything like that... I wanted to. I have wanted to. Your more then just some girl I protect... I'm not great at this whole feelings thing... but... when I said I cared about you..."
He wanted to say something else. Words that couldn't be taken back but he didn't know how to. Was now really the right time to tell her that, and did he even deserve her? After everything that he had done he wasn't sure he could be good for anyone. She thought that you couldn't be too far gone but he didn't know. Do you really get to come back? If her God was really out there did he have any forgiveness left for his children. One look outside to see the growlers made that question hard to answer. He wanted to have her faith. He wanted to feel like there was some redemption left but he wasn't there yet.
"You're not just some girl. You're important...special. Don't ever forget it."
She stared at him, and wanted to say something. He ...she shook her head, "I...wish I was, " she was struggling with her own faith, right this minute. She looked out the window, he still held her hand, "Charlie, you did stuff before, and I know you think you are hard, but I see you, how you suffer from what you have to do, do for me, to keep me safe. " she looked over at him, 'I know you are a good man...." she smiled at him, as something clicked in her mind ,"We both survived for a reason....I have to believe that."
"I'm trying to wrap my head around that... I just don't know. I mean I know why you survived, but me?"
He trailed off for a second but then found his thought process again.
"Thank you. It means a lot that you think I'm a good man, even if I don't agree it's nice to have someone believe in you."
They had taken a side road and it lead to a house at the end of the way. It was pretty well removed and it looked like a good place to settle in for the night. Maybe they would get lucky and there wouldn't be any growlers in there. Not that they were ever that lucky but maybe God, or the universe or something would throw them a bone.
"Would it be delusional of me to hope this place is clear?"
He chuckled to himself a little, glad he could still make a joke.
Sarah let go of his hand and pulled it back, 'Charlie, you listen to me, right now." She looked very serious, "I don't know God's plan, or even understand it, but I know that you are not the same man you were, you did things, but that is the past, you are risking everything to keep me safe, to help me and I know you would do that for any others we find along the way. There is a purpose for you, for all of this, I believe that, and yes.." she smiled at him, "you go right ahead and hope, this place can take away alot of things, but it can't take our hope." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. She pulled back and then looked out the window, and saw a car in front of the place, 'Looks like a farm...you sure about this?" She glanced over at him, 'You don't want to stay closer to town?"
"Like I said, I'm tired of growlers today. We've got enough gas to get back. I just wanted to get away from the things for a night, ya know, get a break after what happened with the kid."
He tried to smile but it came off half-cocked at best. He couldn't help but remember the kid and that was something he really didn't want to remember right now.
"Anyways out here we might be able to hold up for a couple days. Get our bearing under us again. It's been a rough couple of days. I'm sure we could both use a break."
Sarah nodded, but didn't talk. She knew what he was staying. The little boy's face came to her and she closed her eyes. "Alright...I think a few days of quiet would be nice." She opened her eyes and smiled at him, "So...by the numbers, like you taught me, right?" She leaned forward and slipped her coat on, since it was getting chiller as the sun was starting to go down. She stared up the drive way and noticed the car again, but, "Charlie...that trunk if open." she pointed, "you think ...there are people here?" She zipped her coat and held his for him, pulling it from the back seat,
Charles was shocked, stricken absolutely clueless. They hadn't seen people for a while now, not counting the boy back there. He had to get his act together though. If he didn't things might go horribly wrong. He grabbed his coat, put it on, and then he reached for his weapons. He handed the 1911 to Sarah.
"I know you don't really like these things but we need to be prepared."
He changed clips on his mp7 so that it was full. He hadn't had time to reload his other clip. He pulled to a stop and looked over to Sarah.
"I hope that this is going to be fine, and that we can all be friendly but if things go south you need to be ready to pull that trigger. Ok?"
He got out of the car, his mp7 up and ready to be used if needed.
Sarah sat there and stared at the gun he had handed her. She watched him as he went into action mode. That was what she called it, when he shut down and focused like this. She let her eyes roam over him, "Alright, Charlie...I...will be careful and do exactly like you taught me." She smiled at him, then leaned over and grabbed the front of his coat, pulling him towards her. She kissed him, then let him go, "You be careful, you hear me?" She smiled at him then turned and got out of the truck.
She went and looked over in the trunk of the car, and shrugged at him. She hated carrying this thing, but she was going to do it. His life depended on her and hers depended on him. She looked towards the front of the house.
Shauna Kelly: That helped, thank you
Oct 4, 2021 14:40:44 GMT -5
Ayita Hunt: dang, January was my last post.. Jeez it's been a hot minute. o7 guys, sorry for the complete disappearance, life got.. a little interesting this year.
Oct 18, 2021 22:34:19 GMT -5