Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2015 18:02:15 GMT -5
Anger was a powerful thing. Some times it was nearly impossible to control. It could drown you. Become so powerful that no amount of rationalizing it could save you. Soon you're lashing out to everything and everyone whether they deserve it or not, just to sate a rage that will never truly go away. Friends become enemies, enemies become friends. Lines become blurred. You don't know where you are anymore. Soon you have nothing. Nothing but your rage.
Lily has always been an angry person. It's just the way she was. Some would see that as an excuse, others would just accept it for what it is. Her life has never been easy. Mother died at an early age in a car crash. Dad always worked and never fully recovered from the heartache of losing his wife. Lily's appearance only serving to remind him of what he loss, never being able to appreciate what he still had. As a result Lily was raised more by the community than her own father.
A community that was broken apart when the world ended. Most likely they were roaming as walkers somewhere if not dead. The same could be said for Tori, Shinta, Nex, Mary. Lily never thought she'd miss Mary. They were always arguing about one thing or another. Two complete opposites. Those debates used to feel so damn important. Now? Now they didn't mean shit.
Two years. Two goddamn years of the same shit day in day out. Get up, look for supplies, watch your back, fight off walkers, watch people get eaten. Wash, rinse, repeat. Don't die. Don't die. Don't die. All for what? To die. Every single one of them were going to die, and most likely have to eat their own gun to keep from turning into a walker after dying of old age. Lily was tired. So tired. She'd never admit to anyone how many times she thought about eating her own gun. Never.
Tori and Shinta were always good at keeping her in check. They always knew the right thing to say and when to say it. June? She never could handle stress that well. Dallas? He didn't know her as well as the others, so he was at a bit of a disadvantage there. Lily missed the others so much. Just the thought that they may be dead in a ditch somewhere, or worse. It was enough to break her heart.
Lily kept pounding on the punching bag until the voice of a woman came to her ear. By now Lily had already taken off the blood stained blouse and only had her bra covering the top half of her body. Drenched in sweat. Would've turned some boys on. Girls too, if that was there fancy. But for once Lily wasn't in a flirtatious mood. Lily hugged the punching bag for a moment, catching her breath before turning her head to see it was Colette talking to her. Lily had expected either Dallas or June to be the ones to come here. Why was she here? It was enough to make her raise an eyebrow.
“You could say that.”
Lily walked around to the other side of the punching bag and unleashed a couple more jabs into it.
“Gave me the usual shit. Don't really give a fuck anymore. They all want to get themselves killed that's their business.”
She only half meant it. If June or Dallas ended up dead even Lily didn't want to know what she'd do. It wouldn't be pretty and likely would end with her life over as well. Lily stopped punching the bag and looked over to Colette.
“I don't trust anyone who joined that group since we arrived, but if you really must know some guy named Jackson is conveniently missing with one of their own and no one seems to give a damn.”
Lily went back to abusing the punching bag. It was the only means of release she had for a long time.