Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 13:26:49 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
I'm still a newbie to the site. I created a thread to introduce Katrina into the chaotic world of the walking dead.
During this time, I had issues with my mom. With a very heavy heart, my mom passed away on May 22. I also had major back surgery on June 15.
I do wish to continue role playing.
I hadd a synovial cyst. The MRI seemed to show that the sciatic nerves was being severely pinched. However, when the surgeon operated on what was supposed to be a 1-1/2 hour surgery, took 3 hours. The cyst was pinching a nerver, but actually crushing 2 nerves. The cyst was removed and a Level 1 Fusion was done to L5-S1. On top of that, my mom passed in the same hospital my surgery was at. I cannot seem to grasp that she is gone. I stayed with her the month and a half she stayed at the hospital. When I finally admitted her to hospice, I slept on the small bench so I didn't leave the room. Sadly, 6 days later she passed.
I was her only child. I was her world and all she wanted for me was to have my back taken care of and not to leave me knowing how devastating that would be.
I miss her so very much. I wrote the following Letter to Heaven on FaceBook just to try and help with healing.
Dear Mom,
You were with me when I said my first words. You held my tiny hands for my first steps. You never missed a school event. You were my Brownie and Girl Scout leader. You cheered for me on my graduation day. You held my hand when walking me down the aisle on my wedding day. You held my hand when I gave birth and you were first to see your grandchildren at home.
I was able to be there for you in time of need. I held your hand when the aneurysm was found. I was there when your heart wasn't doing so well. I held you in my arms every day in hospice. I cried myself to sleep every night even though I awoke to every sound you made. I was so glad to see you smile when your life long friends visited. It was the most beautiful thing to experience.
You decided to take your last breathe while I slept. You were always trying to protect me from hurt even at the end. I held your lifeless body and caressed your face to say goodbye. Your nurses (my angels) held me as I wept for a while. They even cried with me.
I wish I could have a trip to heaven to hold your hand or kiss your face again. I miss you so very much. I'm trying everything to be strong for my family and work.
Even though you were extremely stubborn, you were still my momma. I never stopped loving you and never stopped caring. You were my mom and I miss your voice, your soft hair, your loving embrace, and just you. I miss our conversations of funny commercials we saw or movies we wanted to see.
If you are able to visit me, I am waiting. I will never stop loving you and the pain will never go away.
I hope I made the right decision to put you into hospice. I hated seeing you in so much pain. You looked so much more peaceful. I hope you watch over me as I still need my momma in my life. I hope you come to all events for your grandchildren with a smile.
We miss you. I miss you. You meant so much more to me than I expected. I just hope one day the pain won't be so unbearable and I can smile knowing you are with your mom, dad, Tina, Frank, and the dogs.
I never said it, but you were my world. Our connection was Star Wars. I see the movie and hear the music every time I work. Darth Vader was your favorite as mine was Luke and Han. Supernatural was our series, calling one another the day after always talking for hours about what we thought would happen next.
Someday, I hope to embrace your arms again. All I can do now is say I love you so much more than I showed around family. You are my momma and life without you hurts with a stabbing pain in my heart.
Please visit whenever you wish. You are welcome in my home, in my dreams, and in my thoughts every day until I see you again.
I love you mom,
Renee
I'll try and start another thread, but would love interaction. I can't go back to work til later this month, so I would love to try and heal, grieve, and make her proud. No words can describe this loss. I'm trying with all my heart to get through this and I thank everyone here for understanding. I do not want to abandon my character. Just maybe need a push in the right direction.
Take care my new friends and just love your mom with all your heart. My mom was a very difficult woman to love. Forgiveness and love can concur all.
My FaceBook page is here:
www.facebook.com/renee.czapla.7
I welcome anyone here to friend request. Maybe i'm supposed to be here to help others through horrible pain of losing a parent. I lost my dad in 2010, my brother in 2014, and now my mom in 2016.
Thank you for reading.
I'm still a newbie to the site. I created a thread to introduce Katrina into the chaotic world of the walking dead.
During this time, I had issues with my mom. With a very heavy heart, my mom passed away on May 22. I also had major back surgery on June 15.
I do wish to continue role playing.
I hadd a synovial cyst. The MRI seemed to show that the sciatic nerves was being severely pinched. However, when the surgeon operated on what was supposed to be a 1-1/2 hour surgery, took 3 hours. The cyst was pinching a nerver, but actually crushing 2 nerves. The cyst was removed and a Level 1 Fusion was done to L5-S1. On top of that, my mom passed in the same hospital my surgery was at. I cannot seem to grasp that she is gone. I stayed with her the month and a half she stayed at the hospital. When I finally admitted her to hospice, I slept on the small bench so I didn't leave the room. Sadly, 6 days later she passed.
I was her only child. I was her world and all she wanted for me was to have my back taken care of and not to leave me knowing how devastating that would be.
I miss her so very much. I wrote the following Letter to Heaven on FaceBook just to try and help with healing.
Dear Mom,
You were with me when I said my first words. You held my tiny hands for my first steps. You never missed a school event. You were my Brownie and Girl Scout leader. You cheered for me on my graduation day. You held my hand when walking me down the aisle on my wedding day. You held my hand when I gave birth and you were first to see your grandchildren at home.
I was able to be there for you in time of need. I held your hand when the aneurysm was found. I was there when your heart wasn't doing so well. I held you in my arms every day in hospice. I cried myself to sleep every night even though I awoke to every sound you made. I was so glad to see you smile when your life long friends visited. It was the most beautiful thing to experience.
You decided to take your last breathe while I slept. You were always trying to protect me from hurt even at the end. I held your lifeless body and caressed your face to say goodbye. Your nurses (my angels) held me as I wept for a while. They even cried with me.
I wish I could have a trip to heaven to hold your hand or kiss your face again. I miss you so very much. I'm trying everything to be strong for my family and work.
Even though you were extremely stubborn, you were still my momma. I never stopped loving you and never stopped caring. You were my mom and I miss your voice, your soft hair, your loving embrace, and just you. I miss our conversations of funny commercials we saw or movies we wanted to see.
If you are able to visit me, I am waiting. I will never stop loving you and the pain will never go away.
I hope I made the right decision to put you into hospice. I hated seeing you in so much pain. You looked so much more peaceful. I hope you watch over me as I still need my momma in my life. I hope you come to all events for your grandchildren with a smile.
We miss you. I miss you. You meant so much more to me than I expected. I just hope one day the pain won't be so unbearable and I can smile knowing you are with your mom, dad, Tina, Frank, and the dogs.
I never said it, but you were my world. Our connection was Star Wars. I see the movie and hear the music every time I work. Darth Vader was your favorite as mine was Luke and Han. Supernatural was our series, calling one another the day after always talking for hours about what we thought would happen next.
Someday, I hope to embrace your arms again. All I can do now is say I love you so much more than I showed around family. You are my momma and life without you hurts with a stabbing pain in my heart.
Please visit whenever you wish. You are welcome in my home, in my dreams, and in my thoughts every day until I see you again.
I love you mom,
Renee
I'll try and start another thread, but would love interaction. I can't go back to work til later this month, so I would love to try and heal, grieve, and make her proud. No words can describe this loss. I'm trying with all my heart to get through this and I thank everyone here for understanding. I do not want to abandon my character. Just maybe need a push in the right direction.
Take care my new friends and just love your mom with all your heart. My mom was a very difficult woman to love. Forgiveness and love can concur all.
My FaceBook page is here:
www.facebook.com/renee.czapla.7
I welcome anyone here to friend request. Maybe i'm supposed to be here to help others through horrible pain of losing a parent. I lost my dad in 2010, my brother in 2014, and now my mom in 2016.
Thank you for reading.